Class: Modern Birds (Subclass: Womanius Multitaskirus)

Exhaustion sometimes blocks my view. We live in a ever changing fast-paced modern world. Sometimes all I see is blurred streaks and the clock ticks so loud as time runs by. The pressure on women in this new millennium, even in the era of sex equality, is increasing. Woman must now balance career and family life. Not all men got the memo on stepping up to the table and dealing with some diapers but enjoy that their lady has a successful career. Woman be cooking, Men be golfing. Now the ladies are out on the golf course toting pink diamond sweaters, because on top of a career and growing babies you must be active. Sounds bloody exhausting to me, a single, childless bird. The female of the species is an amazing creature and will deal with this using her seemingly unlimited capacity for multi-tasking. Sometimes screaming....dying inside whilst maintaining a flawless composure in life. Mary Poppins, Martha Stewart and Hilary Clinton all baked in an oven together to create the all seeing, doing and knowing lady.

Virgina Woolf wrote all about this in the form of Mrs Clarissa Dalloway. 'Mrs Dalloway would buy the flowers herself' starts off the story of a woman which in my mind represents the essence of female. A day in the life of a young woman, post World War I, and her preparations for a party she is about to execute that very evening. The perfect hostess struggling with a inner conflict but mantaining that polished exterior. She would of course buy the flowers herself and retain control of every portion of her perfect existence. Woolf struggled with her own existence throughout the drafting of this manuscript. Struggled with her own mortality through the eyes of the fictional Mrs Dalloway. In the film 'The Hours' (a film every woman should watch) she endlessly balances whether Clarissa should kill herself or save herself. Modern day living has always maintained woman like a marionette on a string. Woman will never cut the strings as society will never allow. Sometimes I feel like a spider in a jar with the weight of womanhood sealing like a lid. A small air hole gives me just enough to breath. Even if the lid is removed and I have a choice to leave the classical notions of what a woman should be I would scurry and slip on the glass and probably never get to the top so I will do what is expected.

Womanius Multitaskirus is a common species occurring all over the world. They are a usually calm and organized species unfortunately plagued by strong hormonal surges resulting in strange behaviour. This behaviour can result in tears, anger, consumption of chocolate and the 'don't touch me' phenomenon. These behaviours in some cases have been noted for the greater spotted male genus. Some experimental evidence actually points to some theories that men may also experience hormonal fluxing and I goddamn hope this to be true. I told a previous boyfriend about the complexities of the Mrs Dalloway book and how I really identified with the character. He said when Virginia wrote the story it was probably her time of the month. This is what we are up against!